It’s been a while since I wrote, not so much for not wanting to write as for feeling absolutely dreadful. Isn’t it ironic that I feel ever so much worse not drinking than I ever did drinking? I ache all over, my hormones are all over the place and I suffer from both anaemia and hypoglycaemia. The depression and the angst that has kicked in we shall not even begin talking about…

Why give up drinking when this is what sober feels like? I feel endlessly lonely and sad, but I know this is following a “normal” pattern. Still doesn’t make me feel any better. I don’t want to do this, don’t want to do anything to be honest. What I want to do is to curl up in a dark hole and never come out again. I feel worthless…

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